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Literature Text
I am your prisoner. You have captured me; mind, body, heart and soul. You have lured me with your salacious temptation. You knocked at my door pleading for entry and with such envisages of ecstasy , how could I resist ? Enraptured by your profound sensuality, I walked right out, never thought again of the lover I deserted.I devoured every crumb of desire you threw my way. I waited reluctantly in that prison, behind those bars. Every cell in my body ached for you, I stood witness to your entrapment of others, I endured your endless teasing of your prisoners, your consistent displays of insufferable indifference. Now, now all of it, every torturous second that has preceeded this very moment you and I are in is irrelevant. For I am your prisoner.You have captured me; mind, body, heart and soul. I am supple, you need only think it and it will be done. You will bend me to your will effortlessly for there is nothing more that I could want. You will consume me with your animalistic lust and I will allow myself the delusion to believe that it is more than just that. I will absorb every touch I am allowed, and compose melodies of every sound that erupts and when it is all over, I will return to my cell and wait in agony for history to be repeated.I am your prisoner. You have captured me; mind, body, heart and soul.
Literature
Why Does It Have to be You?
Yes, yes, I know.
This is a mistake...
loving you, that is.
Yes, I know last time it ended badly,
but can I deny my heart of what
it truly wants?
I try, darling,
really I do.
But I'm addicted to you.
Love is a curse - binding me to the depths of hell...
all because its unrequited?
How is that fair?
You light up my world
and make me smile.
It's an impressing feat these days.
I blush when I read your texts.
I smile when I send one back,
blushing, of course.
Why are you the one that races through my mind?
Why are you the one invading my dreams?
And most of all...
Why do I still love you?
Literature
Desire
In the silence and darkness of my despair.
I feel this desire building up within me.
My heart beats faster.
This desire flows strongly in my veins.
This longing is unfamiliar,
Yet known too well.
My thoughts filled with this craving.
My heart longs for it.
My hands reach for it.
I feel my legs giving away.
All of my strength is gone.
I am weak to this want.
This desire is making it hard to breath.
The feeling of this desire dances among my lips.
Unable to think or understand.
All I know is you are my dearest desire.
Literature
What it wasn't.
No, my love. It's not the way you don't listen when I speak.
I've realized that you do listen. You just forget.
No, my sweetheart. It's not the way you don't find me witty.
I've learnt that our senses of humour are different.
No, my darling. It's not the way you pick on my flaws.
I've understood that you love me despite them.
No, my dear. It's not the way you always ignore me like I'm just a girl.
I've figured out that I'm more even when your friends ask who I am.
No, my pet. It's not the way you never call me back when I need you.
I've come to the conclusion that you won't be there when I need you.
No, my sweet. It's not that you d
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Comments4
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Overall
Vision
Originality Technique ImpactFor an experiment, this is one amazing piece of literature.
I'll start by going backwards. The impact this creates on the reader is profound, instantly drawing the reader into your writing. As for technique, you've strung together your words very well. Your sentences fit together perfectly, and I especially love the harmony of the adjectives and nouns: "salacious temptation," "profound sensuality," "animalistic lust." There are a few errors in here, the one that I noticed immediately "in the that prison," but I'm just nitpicking now.
I only gave the originality 3.5 stars because this type of writing is pretty common, the kind where one person is taken prisoner by the other, but what makes yours stand out from the others is how you present it. The way you kept repeating that line, "You have captured me; mind body, heart and soul" really gets the point across, making the theme clearly visible to whoever reads this. And, what a theme it is, indeed.
Overall, this was a great piece, written very well. I definitely would love to see more by you, keep on writing! Terrific work <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="
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