TheGirl-WhoWaited

Big bay windows. That was the only thing I demanded that our house have, big bay windows with white wooden frames. He didn’t deny me, he never does. When we moved in, it was the first place he showed me, a study, just for me with my windows. I wonder if he knew the reason behind me wanting them, if he would still have done it. Bay windows, its what you and I talked about when we fought, who would be sentenced to sleep by the windows. I have been coming home to the windows, so many nights like this I have braced against the smooth wooden wall, face exposed to the cold air, breathing in memories of us. You said that we had spent so much t

For as long as I can remember You were the lighthouse guiding me home. Whenever my world became too obscure, You'd beg me to run to you. But I would never oblige. And now here I am Running, Tripping, Falling, Bruising my knees and elbows Searching for a beacon to guide me. Searching for a light I know is no longer there Because now that I'm ready to run, It has disappeared. You have left. My path is dark, Narrow and winding, It seems to stretch on for an eternity that I don't want. In the same way that I didn't want you to find me. I didn't want you to burst in and be the hero for a moment. Cause when the moment was over, I was left all alone

The worse thing in my life happened to me and I did not die Don't get me wrong I came close to it By my own admonition Because they lied when they said what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger Utter bullshit What doesn't kill you just hurts You can stuff it into one of the many suitcases you carry around. I'm loaded with baggage. There is no denying it If we're going on our first date Bring a U-haul It's that bad It's not like I wouldn't take pleasure in letting them go. Checking them onto a flight to some distant land and never board the plane It's just that I don't know how. How do you let go of all the hurt without let

Dear love,  I have been writing of distance as though it is something that I want. It has just happened that the worst thing that has happened to my life is the best thing to happen to my poetry. If I could, I would willingly relinquish these words to be happy again. Without hesitation Without doubt. I don't care if the only things I will ever write again is about butterflies and rainbows. Even if it's a verse that starts with roses are red . I know it will end with I love you and that will be enough. Even if we're scared because we don't know where to start. Even If we question Will it work work Is ir worth the risk Is there is anything

When love left we were standing in a hallway just after my performance Love was asking for a second chance even though love had decided to leave. I wanted love to stay But instead I walked away , I told love good bye and that I would write about this. I told love that I would write about the broken hearted expression on her face But I also told love that I would remember to write that she was a lying bastard who shattered me. And then love left.   The conversations though inevitable were awkward. Filled with distance and space between us that we couldn't bridge. We didn't know if we could, if we should. The embraces that we found ourselves

S: It wasn't enough for me to love you, you had to be King N: The reasons I left hadn't a thing to do with being in love. S: If you loved me, why'd you leave me? N: Every story has an end. S: This isn't my idea of a fairytale. N: I never promised to be your knight in shining armor. S: You've become the dragon, locking me into a tower of pain. N: You continue to make me the monster. S: The story of us is now a tragedy. N: There is no us, there is she and I and there is you. S: I am alone. N: In a way so am I . S: I thought you were happy. N: I don't know what I am. S: I miss you. N: As do I Together: Yet We are so alone. N: I thought they unde

I could have sworn we had more time than this Is this how it ends , our forever and almost always ? I blindly believed so you could come back home The seconds only unwind new lies. Soon enough the fabric of us is perforated Maybe its me ? I guess it gets harder to trust you, Maybe some wounds never heal, Some betrayals are forgiven but never forgotten. So tell me, if I believe blindly again, Will it bring you home ? If we exhaust our forever, Will you pursue almost always with me ? Cause I swear , we have more time than this.

Lying there, eyes shut tight. twisting , turning. Adjusting, shifting. Audible sighs. Stifled moans. Restless, tossing, turning. Sheets stained with sweat. -Still awake Not dark enough Too many shadows. Wondering mind conjures images. Dying, hurting in every scene. Frightened, Terrified. Eyes run, head aches. -Still awake.

                                      . . .                                      Is me                                        . . .